Top Five Fails of The Year: Embarrassing things to avoid

 

Embarrassing yourself will happen. We have all done it, so deal with it. Some awkward fails can be utterly humiliating, or they can be something where you just have to shrug your shoulders and laugh off. These are the top five fails of the year, so far, that one should try to avoid. Some are pretty embarrassing, and if they happen to you, it will make you want to drop out of school, move to Utah, and become a Capuchin monk. Others aren’t nearly as bad, but are still something you might want to avoid if you don't want to walk around pissed off all day.

1. Seat malfunction
Remember when you came into class 20 minutes late, quietly crept in, but noisily shuffled past desks, feet, and chairs, found a seat in the corner, hurriedly sat down in it, then broke through the seat and landed on your ass bone? Yeah, so does everyone in your class. Show up on time next class period and maybe you won’t get the dysfunctional seat in the corner.

2. Obliviousness
Teachers love students who are active in classroom discussion—many encourage it. So with that in mind, don’t attempt at tackling their next question if you have no idea what they were even talking about. "No, we were talking about the debt ceiling crisis, NOT Justin Bieber." Chances are, you will sound crazy, or completely out of it. People will laugh—you will cry: uncontrollably.

3. Don’t be the smelly kid
This goes back to grade school. So change your clothes every once in a while, do your laundry, put Odor Eaters stuff in your shoes, and for god sakes, wash yourself. Don’t make the professors have to call your parents.

4.  Arguing with the crazy religious people
Freedom of speech is great, and what better place to voice your opinion than on campus in a very busy, heavily trafficking area. But next time you have a temper tantrum because the crazy guy waving a “You’re all are going to hell” sign isn’t listening to a word you are saying, just stop, take a breather, calm down, and walk away. Nobody wants to look crazier than these guys, but they have a right to be there, so let them embarrass themselves with their own ignorance. They will understand it one of these days. (If you are not content with my assessment, then flipping them off and telling them you are Mormon is okay.)

5. Arguing with your professors
Don’t… they have degrees, and you don’t. There is nothing more awkward than to be a student in a classroom when your teacher and fellow student go at it. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t correct them or make suggestions when they might be wrong or making an ass of themselves, just not in that “You are wrong and an asshole” tone of voice that so many students inherently possess.

Accidents and shit happens, and chances are you might do something to embarrass yourself: like when you stepped in that dog turd right before you came to class and everyone knew the smell was radiating from your foot but you kept denying it anyway; or you crapped your pants in class—either or. Just remember—yes, everyone will laugh, but they will probably forget about it five minutes latter. That, or go home and post it on Facebook. So, stay calm, laugh it off, and don’t get upset. It’s not like you will be on Tosh.o or anything.